Finding Sanctuary

I did an interview yesterday which really hit home for me. Often I only interview recovering alcoholics, sober people like me that are on their sober journey already and we are really throwing ourselves into our sober lives and all the good that's come from it. But this was a bit different for me yesterday, because this friend of mine is desperately tying to find the courage to give it up. The interview is on the premise of how much she has cut down and that alone has been life changing for her, but she cant seem to take the next step and just give it up for good. It obviously bought out a lot of unresolved feelings about trauma and what triggers her and I received some sad messages last night which is par for the course because we were dredging through all of that yesterday. Poking around in her brain and bringing up those memories for all bad times associated with alcohol which is trauma related. It was a given that it would stir up some demons and that's exactly what it did. This made me have a really restless sleep last night and I haven't stopped thinking about it all day. The interview made her realise that she is not even close to where she wants to be in her healing process and has tons of work to do on what that void is that she is trying to fill and for me, it made me realise that I've come a bloody long way and Ive forgotten that that's where I used to be with all these thoughts. It reminded me what an awful effect alcohol had on my mental health. We talked about what it steals from you. It starts out like a thief in the night, its silent and crafty and manipulative. You don't see it. It slowly steals your light, your laughter and your smiles. It consumes your good thoughts and replaces them with doubt and chaos and you still dont see it. It steals your dreams. It becomes a viscous never-ending cycle and even when you do stop for a bit and you start feeling better, it slides back whispering its enticing smooth words into your ear and into your mind, and then there it is, a drink in your hand and another and another. I remember not seeing it when I was in it. I had to hit a rock bottom to stop drinking and now that I'm out of it, I see the evil for what it is when it takes over a life. Even when we see the damage, we still don't leave it. What madness. It robs us of all the good things in life. Relationships, love, family, self love and self esteem. Moments. Yet we still go back to it. A silent cunning evil that is glamorised and we are made to belive we are not enough without it. But when out of it and see it for every awful thing it is, knowing we are more than we could ever be without it. Yes it is an addiction and its a destructive one that doesn't discriminate. One thing my interviews always teach me, is I have a lot to be grateful for and I always have something learn.